Penny Posey

Introducing Penny Posey: Seasoned adventurer, Fearless explorer of emotional landscapes and unknown relationship territories, Wise philosopher on matters of the heart and sword-arm; Battle-hardened mother and slayer of Primals, Banisher of Bullsh*t and Lambaster of lies, Entrepreneurial expert and thrill-seeker.  Ask her your questions on matters of love and life, and get the best answer on how to solve your problems, be it by your own efforts or by the best help gil can buy!

Dear Penny,

I fear my messing with words and sprinkling little anecdotes here and there have caused some to think I have more skill than I presume to have. It seems they are totally relying on me to do things all super awesome like. What ever shall I do with this new weight!?

Dear Weightful,

A word Is worth a thousand pictures so with each anecdote you create multitudes of pictures for people and that is a delightful talent. Enjoy your talent and don’t stop. That is after all the true awesomeness. And it is a weight that gets lighter with time.


Dear Penny,

I recently joined a Coil static I found in PF. Things have been going great; we cleared SCOB with no problems and are working our way through FCOB. But we’re starting to feel pressure to finish T13 before the expansion hits. The raids are getting longer and I frequently need afk to refill my water glass. My raid leader says I afk too much and that I need to get a bigger cup. I use my biggest mug. It holds 32oz. Do you think I should buy a bigger cup? Should I look for a new static, one that likes water as much as I do? I just like a nice, cold glass of water while raiding.

-Coil Makes Me Thirsty

Dear Thirsty,

You could try introducing your static to water. My take is if you get a bigger cup you will need to afk as much due to needing to get rid of all that water. If your static is that rigid, I would find another static that has more understanding.


Dear Penny,

I feel so lonely when I go into dungeons. No matter where I look, it’s just cat-people or kids asking me “How’s the weather up there?” or making dumb caveman noises and snickering. It’s not my fault I was born a Roegadyn, or that my huge frame makes me a little clumsier than most. My parents are always telling me to be proud of my heritage, but it’s hard when everyone around you is half your size or less. What can I do?

A Sad Roegadyn

Dear Sad ,

Your Parents are correct. It takes a big person to rise above the usual hum drum of most people cat or otherwise. So hold your head high and show them how much better you are and how strong you are and they will soon see you as the leader you are . And who knows perhaps you will meet another Roegadyn and you can do things together.


Dear Penny,

My husband (who’s a Lalafell) and I (a Miqo’te) are married and want to have children, but…I’ve looked everywhere around Eorzea – and I can’t see anyone who appears to be of mixed race, much less any children of mixed race, or even one pregnant female. In fact, I hardly encounter children of any kind! Has the Catastrophe placed a curse on our ability to procreate, or our fertility?

No Bun in The Oven

Dear No Bun in The Oven,

I do not see many young children in Eorzea but in the newly opened areas there are children. Perhaps the Catastrophe has not “cursed” us as much as it has forced us to be focused elsewhere. Many races cannot procreate between them but you could end up like donkeys and horses and produce a mule.  Have you considered adopting one of the many thousands of orphans whose parents perished in the Catastrophe?

Keep trying ….


Dear Penny,

I am paralyzed with fear when it comes to entering dungeons. I’m not afraid of the dark, or have a deadly fear of bats or creepy-crawlies or acidic slime-spewing blobs with one eye – I’m just afraid I won’t measure up in group battle. I’ve saved the world many times all alone. So how do I charge in and kick butt without fear of being kicked out?

Bloodthirsty Mouse

Dear Bloodthirsty Mouse ,

Getting kicked out of a dungeon happens to even the best of us ( talk to our fearless leader) . What is the worst that can happen?  We do not suffer from perma-death so maybe we die but we come back and the first time you clear a dungeon you are elated and want to go again.

I would suggest you go with a group of friends your first time in, you will have support then and will succeed.


Dear Penny,

I recently hired an additional retainer to assist me with errands and organizing my vast glamour wardrobe; however, when I send him away for simple tasks to retrieve basic resources, it takes him several hours to return home. Often times, when he’s finally returned, he only has a single clam shell and a few dirty Allagan coins to show for the hours of work. His pay is commensurate with the work I’ve asked, but I fear he is assisting another adventurer. What should I do about my retainer?

A Bad Rap

Dear A Bad Rap,

Perhaps he has found a place to hide out and goof off or another retainer to goof off with. Assisting another adventurer is not without its allure. Do you not also assist other adventurers? And who knows he may come back with a bonus one of these days. Perhaps a stern talking would help.


Dear Penny,

My Chocobo is in great health right now, but I am starting to see some strange hues on some of the Chocobos when I come into the stables. Is this a Parasite or Rash? I may be travelling to Ishgard in the next week or so, and may have to stable him for a short while, and I do not want him to come down with a terminal illness.

A Concerned Chocobo Parent

Dear Concerned Parent ,

I would say your Chocobo has gotten into some “exotic” foods . I would check his quarters for forbidden fruits. Perhaps he has some contraband stashed?


Have a question for Penny?  Send all questions to Penny’s secretary, Nia Niamu, in a PM on the Chaos Theory website.  All questions will be answered!


Chaos Theory is a Final Fantasy 14 Free Company on the Hyperion Server. Our mission is to provide a safe, friendly home free of elitism that provides its members a structure in which to participate in all Eorzea has to offer.

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